Examples of Strong Informative Writing

The students worked diligently on their pilgrimage paragraphs.

I was pleased with the way that several students dramatically expanded the range of vocabulary that they used in their second drafts.

I also noticed some close proofreading ... it's really important to track down your punctuation and spelling mistakes, and make them right!

Here are two examples of excellent writing.

Rituals at the Ganges River

By Kate C.

           Hindus crave to perform many different rituals before and after they gaze upon the mystical river. Before Hindus set off on their journey, they go to a Hindu temple in their town or somewhere along the pilgrimage. At the temple, Hindus will pray to their god Shiva for a safe trip. Pilgrims will sometimes purchase prayer shawls, with sacred texts printed on, to wear during the excursion. Ancient Hindu scriptures say that seeing, hearing, or touching the Ganges will cleanse you of your sins. At the ghats, Hindus perform the rituals needed for spreading the ashes of their ancestors into the river. By scattering the ashes, they believe it will send the souls to heaven. All of these rituals are Hindu and performed at the Ganges River.

Rituals During the Hajj

By Ashton

      On the hajj, a six day journey, Muslims perform important rituals every day. Hajj, if you look close enough, is really one big ritual packed into many days. On Day One, the pilgrims will change into ihram, for men two plain, white, cotton cloths that go around their legs and torso, and for women just plain modest clothing that covers them. After they have changed they will perform Tawaf and Sa’i. During the Tawaf pilgrims must circle the Kabah seven times. One interesting fact about Tawaf is that in 1941 a big flood happened during Kabah season, and instead of walking around the Kabah the pilgrims swam! During the Sa’i pilgrims hustle between the two mountains of Safa and Marwa. They do this to represent Hagar, Abraham's wife, running between the two hills of Safa and Marwa in search for water for her son. She eventually did find water that an angel made spring up for her. The last thing that they do for the day is head to Mina for an overnight. On Day Two, the pilgrims move from Mina to Mt. Arafat for a day of reflection and repentance. For most pilgrims Mt. Arafat is very sacred. From their they will go to Muzdalifah for another overnight and to collect pebbles for their next day of hajj. On Day Three, the pilgrims will head back to Mina and go to the Jamarat location. There they will cast the pebbles they collected at a pillar representing the devil. For the days of 4-6, they will be spent by going back to Mecca from Mina, and performing a farewell Tawaf and Sa’i in Mecca. During the hajj there is always something to do and a ritual to perform.